Judgement

Growing up in a small town people often make assumptions about others based on what they hear, see, or think about a person. People tend to assume that the football player with his big muscular figure is tough inside and out. This assumption may not be true because he may very well have a more sensitive side to things. Either way, the assumption is made by those around him. For some reason physical appearance triggers others to think other wise which is not always true. This non verbal communication that people analyze happens everyday with out anyone realizing it. I tend to people watch often, I observe the way people speak to each other, their facial expressions as they, and their body movement during a conversation. The assumption that is concluded is not always a very positive one. Sometimes it seems as though individuals are bored when they tend to role their eyes or look way from the person they are engaging a conversation with. Others often have that " I don't really care" appearance by their slouching stance. Being able to interpret people is a difficult task that I feel is not really meant for anyone to do. If we spend our entire communication time attempting to analyze the nonverbal communication of others, what time do we have to actually communicate? Not all inferences of people are accurate; in fact I do not think very many are. I have been told, " I thought you were very shy, but now that I got to know you, you are anything but shy". People just create an assumption based on no solid facts or interactions, its just human nature.

The Power of Words

The power of any individual's words can go a long way, changing the way listeners perceive one another. A broader use of vocabulary and choice of words defines the intelligence one posses. People begin to perceive you by what you say and the way you say it. We may all mean one thing, but the choice of words used makes it seem as though we meant another. A simple choice of words can cause complexity in a conversation by making it much more difficult or making it clearer. When we participate in coversations with other individuals we do not often think about the words we are using or how the other person may interpret the use of our words. Some may take it a completely different way than what you mean. Sometimes fewer words will cause the listening individual to draw his/her own conclusions on what was being talked about, but if more words and details are used assumptions do not need to be drawn because the information was given, not leaving the mind to ponder. It's hard for me to comprehend sometimes as to why others occasionally misinterpret what I am trying to say. I suppose indexing the comments and remarks I use will avoid any generalization from occuring, but it it much easier said than done. To have a conversation with another and simply trying to improve it, it is a task in itself. As a child we have never had to worry about the way we perceive anyone, our listening skills, or the words we use to converse with others. Trying to improve this is complex, I would really like to try and improve this, but how is this possible if I am thinking about correcting all these communication errors while communicating, I won't be communicating at all because I will have my focus on fixing my errors? I suppose it is just a change that will occur slowly over time as I become more knowledgeable of the things that will help my communication with others.

Bad Listening Habits

The next subject of learning to listen is a difficult one for me. Don't get me wrong, I will listen, but I tend to voice my opinion about the situation and about how one should go about handling it. I never really thought there would be so much in the concept of listening, but there is. So many different things that should be practiced each time one attempts to listen. I had always been under the assumption that listening meant hearing and understanding what the person was telling you. It is very complicated! It was interesting to learn that we spend most of our time listening than we do anything else. WOW! That was interesting, but it makes sense. How else does one learn if we are always talking. It basically becomes an issue of us simply just "being" and not making our presence known. In that sense why does it sometimes feel that there is an awkward silence that seems to be meant to voice some input? That I do not understand. Possibly it could just be the person I am having a conversation with, or maybe I just assumed that as my role. The complexity of listening is something that no one person considers which in turn can cause more communication problems. I never really thought that I had a listening problem, but according to what I have read I am not a very good one or in a better sense I could be a much better one. I have come to the conclusion that I am most definately an action- oriented listener! I have found myself numerous times thinking to myself, " get to the point already", or " and the point of the story is?" I just always feel that some individuals tend to add much more details and events that do not even pertain to the point or discussion they are trying to make. It tends to sound so much like jibberish. Those that do that tend to spend fifteen minutes or more just to make one point just by adding extra details that did not even relate to the issue or even impact it such as including the color of cars, what a person was wearing at the time, I just never understood it. I suppose I have concluded this is yet another thing I need to work on in time.

That Social Barrier

As I begin to get farther in depth into this speech class it is becoming more evident to me the many things and situations can have an impact on the way we communicate with people. I have become more aware in realizing the everyday things such as gender, sexual orientation, age, social class, race, and ethnicity play a very dramatic role in the communication of society today. These characteristics all cause people to slowly, but surely group themselves into these cultures creating much diversity. I have seen from my observation that those that rank higher in social class tend to associate themselves with those that are just the same. This is not the case in every social situation, but in most. There are the occasional diverse groups that see past all the different characteristics, but it is very rare. People often have trouble bridging the gap between these cultures because of their different perception on life and their beliefs. I know that it becomes that much more difficult when other individuals do not have the same perspective as I do or come from another culture that practices different things. I know I tend to associate more with those I can relate to such as the same age group, college major, and others that are an average social class just as myself. This is not to be understood that I do not associate with others as well, it just means that it is much easier to communicate with those that understand where you come from. Being of an average social class, the majority of us tend to be more aware of how hard it is financially and have to work to be able to have some of the things that we like. Others of a higher social class may have never had to work and take for granted all the luxury they have by not being appreciative. After reading this chapter, I am trying to enhance my skill by being a bit more flexible to others cultures. I want to have more of an open mind to others that view things differently than I do. If I stop and think about the way I judge and group people I tend to stereotype them. This sometimes causes me to avoid them because I assume their way of life all together. Imagine how many different people and things we would all learn if we stopped grouping people. The only thing that results from this is a social barrier that makes communication that much more difficult.

THIN SLICING

As I begin to read the chapters assigned in this class I slowly become more interested in learning about the different perceptions people have on our world. I have always been one to "try" and analyze people, their thoughts, their future reactions, their opinions by just the way they portray themselves and their facial expressions. It's amazing to me now to understand a little bit better as to why I am always getting myself into trouble. I say more than I should and without thinking, expect that everyone knows, understands, and thinks the way I do so my point does not always get across. " We tend to make inferences about their motives, personalities, and other traits based on their physical qualities and behaviors." That previous statement is presented in the book and I can completely relate to it. It mentions that those that are skilled at making observations and interpretations have a head start in developing effective interpersonal relationships. With that said, I am ready to have a better understanding of how my interpersonal communication can be improved and I can have a better understanding of people and the reasons for their actions. Another interesting point that I want to mention is the concept of "thin slicing". WOW! I tend to thin slice many people! That is terrible! There is no good reason why I should base my complete opinion about someone on just a sample of their behavior and start to generalize the type of person he/she may be. I suppose that without thinking we more than likely thin slice everyone we meet. I have read the first three chapters of this book and already I feel I have benefited in so many ways. Some things I can try and correct and others I just have to learn to understand.

Psychological NOISE

I am realizing now that maybe taking four online classes was not such a good idea. Way too much information to read and obtain! I have already read chapter one for my speech class and in my opinion I felt that I understood it pretty well. I was very interested through out the entire chapter so I felt that I would do a descent job on the quiz, but I was wrong. A 76 is not exactly descent to me. Maybe I just need to take another approach to study the material, but something needs to change. I was really trying to get an A in this class so that my GPA could go up, but now I am not so sure. On the brightside it is still early in the semester so I hope I can change this because if not I will definately have this on my mind all the time causing unneeded psychological noise! =) See...I knew I did learn something! Lately I have had alot of psychological noise! That should be a certain condition that they diagnose people with because it can really have an impact on someones life! I tend to have too much on my mind and lose focus on the task at hand. Sometimes I have so much on my mind it makes me sick and I just won't ever be hungry or I would rather just sleep. It's a serious issue I have, but I'm honestly trying to work on de-cluttering my mind and accomplishing the things that need to be accomplished!

I Made A Mistake!

Unfortunately I failed to follow directions and I had not scrolled down to the Journals Link under our assignments so now I have a much better understanding of what is expected. I tried to get ahead and overlooked it. I am new to this specific blogging site so I need to figure out how I am supposed to put a second journal on here. Hopefully all goes well.

tRish